This can mean two completely different things. One holding on to things; You know, "white knuckling" it. Or holding on, like waiting for something. We are tackling with how we hold on to things we should not. I will give you a personal example. Does anyone remember doing the 40 days of Purpose by Rick Warren? If you did, how many of you thought, "I will get to the end of this book and I will know exactly what to do with my life."? I did!! I will let you know I was very disappointed. God didn’t send me the personal road map of my life with that book! But in one of the lessons Pastor Warren said to look around the room and see if you could pick out the “EGR” in your group. Now if you don’t know or don’t remember the EGR is the person who extra grace is required. As I sat in my small group I looked around and realized that no one else could be the EGR, so it must be ME! I carried the EGR label for over 5 years. I felt so down on myself. I kept beating myself up for being too loud, or too excitable, or being too heavy, or not being who I thought God made me to be. It was when in the women’s ministry I was blessed with a mentor. I told my mentor the story of being an EGR. She looked me dead in the face and said “I think it’s time you let that go!” What do you mean let that go? A pastor pointed out my flaw and I have to accept my flaw don’t I? Don’t I have to learn to be in my little EGR space and not impinge on anyone else’s space as to make them uncomfortable?
As I listen to God speak to my heart I begin to hear His love for me. He began to weave this immense love for me that I had never experienced before. I could hear his words in my head. Why would you let Satan twist three letters to make you feel so unworthy? I created you! I built you to be loud, and excitable. When you start to see who you truly are you will embrace your natural instincts because I put them there.
What have you been holding on to? What did your Mother, Father, Teacher, friend, or Pastor say that you immediately accepted as the truth and in turn labeled yourself? I believe that most people are their own worst critics. Why is it that we continually beat ourselves up?? Why is it so easy to accept the lies Satan throws at us and yet so hard to accept God’s truth. The further away you get from your creator the easier it is to believe everything else. Think about Atheists. They have gotten so far from God that the world’s logic sounds completely logical. Think about some of the cultists that you have seen. Do you remember the Heaven’s day cult?? The people who believed that alien’s were going to come down and save them from the rapture. Now you and I look at this from the outside and say “I can’t believe they would believe in that nonsense!” But we are not much different. Cause we believe the insane things we say about ourselves, right?? I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m an EGR, I’m too loud, I’m too quiet, I’m not worthy! All of these are lies!! You may be heavy but God wouldn’t say that to you. He would say why are you running to food instead of me?!! This is a hard one for me! Why would you say you are ugly? You are beautifully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
He made you and as the little saying goes “God doesn’t make junk!” Yeah that is easy to say! But how do we take it from a saying to the true way we feel. Well here is what I have been doing:
John 8:32 (New International Version)
32Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Lately, when I have been giving myself two hundred lashings I think I deserve, I have to stop my thoughts. Would God truly say that to me?? Is this bringing me closer to him or making me feel guilty, sad, anger, etc? I am not saying guilt, sadness, or anger are bad things but God uses these emotions to have you seek after him.
Are you seeking him?
Philippians 2:13 (New International Version)
13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
Remember that God created you for HIS GLORY but you have a specific purpose! You may not know what it is but if you continue to seek him he will reveal it to you. Albeit one step at a time!! And if you are like me that can be painful slow but I have learned the hard way that I would rather have it slow then all at once. Cause I know if I got it all at once I would run away screaming!!
How many times have you heard a sermon that told you to trust in the Lord?? Have you ever wanted to yell out at the preacher “HEY HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?” I have! We constantly hear “Seeing is believing” or “You’ve got to have faith!” Oh Yeah!! Well where is the faith store so I can buy some! Oh well you have to follow these rules and faith will come! Am I going to get a box on my door step? What are these rules? What happens if I miss or skip one? Do I not get my faith then? Did you know that you have faith already? When you apply for a job you anticipate getting it, right? You play in your mind that scene of you shaking your new boss’ hand and saying yes. Well that is a type of faith. What about when you are pregnant. You anticipate a child, correct. Well that is a type of faith too. What about when the power is going to be turned off or your house is up for foreclosure. Do you have faith then?? I can hear some of you “Yeah Faith that I am going to lose my house”. Well in a way you are right. How are we supposed to trust someone we have never seen? Some of you may even think how am I supposed to trust someone I haven’t even heard of or heard from?
When my daughter passed away I thought Lord this wasn’t in the plan! I have faith, I have you, I have done my part. This wasn’t in the plan!!! What happened to Jeremiah 29:11 for I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord They are plans for good not for disaster to give you a future and a hope. My daughter dying is for good?!? What good can come of that?? I hurt Father my heart is broken. How is this a future and it certainly can not be hope! But I was wrong. For those of you who are struggling so hard to keep your house or to keep the lights on or to keep going each day when breathing is the hardest thing to do. God HAS A PLAN FOR YOU!!
In God’s word Psalm 143:8 he says for us to ask of him
Psalm 143:8 (New International Version)
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.
So how are you to “Hear his unfailing love every morning?” Well we wake up breathing, that is the first sign! But what about his unfailing love? How many of you have felt like God let you down? I sure know I have! But let’s take a look at it from another perspective, shall we?
Deuteronomy 31:6 (New International Version)
6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Now that doesn’t mean you are always going to get what you want. But it does mean he has a plan. You may not be able to see it either! His plan may involve a change for you. It did for me!
2 Corinthians 4:16-17 (New International Version)
16Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
Isaiah 41:10 (New International Version)
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
There have been days that getting up and breathing were the last things I wanted to do but I would throw my pity party. Then I would dust myself off and go about my day. I have yelled, I have screamed, I have shaken my little fist at God. I have come to the conclusion that he is in control. No matter how much I want things to go my way. He is in control. No matter how many lottery tickets I buy, how many prayers I pray for me to be taken home, he is in control. He has a plan. He asks us to trust him, to trust in him, and to be willing to go where he tells us to go. We may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel but that isn’t where we are supposed to be looking anyway.
Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
We are supposed to keep reading his word for the direction in our lives. For where we are supposed to take the next step. Keep our eyes upon him. I hear you again saying “Yeah my boss is going to love that, Sorry I need to pray before we make this decision, can you hold on for a second?” I am not saying literally but how many of you start your day thanking him for what he has done and offering your day up to him for his work? As the power gets turned off or the bank takes your house. Trust that he is moving but he may be moving you to a different place so you can shine his light to someone who otherwise may never have seen it!
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
Phil Wickham - True Love (The Wall) from Dan Stevers on Vimeo.
