This can mean two completely different things. One holding on to things; You know, "white knuckling" it. Or holding on, like waiting for something. We are tackling with how we hold on to things we should not. I will give you a personal example. Does anyone remember doing the 40 days of Purpose by Rick Warren? If you did, how many of you thought, "I will get to the end of this book and I will know exactly what to do with my life."? I did!! I will let you know I was very disappointed. God didn’t send me the personal road map of my life with that book! But in one of the lessons Pastor Warren said to look around the room and see if you could pick out the “EGR” in your group. Now if you don’t know or don’t remember the EGR is the person who extra grace is required. As I sat in my small group I looked around and realized that no one else could be the EGR, so it must be ME! I carried the EGR label for over 5 years. I felt so down on myself. I kept beating myself up for being too loud, or too excitable, or being too heavy, or not being who I thought God made me to be. It was when in the women’s ministry I was blessed with a mentor. I told my mentor the story of being an EGR. She looked me dead in the face and said “I think it’s time you let that go!” What do you mean let that go? A pastor pointed out my flaw and I have to accept my flaw don’t I? Don’t I have to learn to be in my little EGR space and not impinge on anyone else’s space as to make them uncomfortable?
As I listen to God speak to my heart I begin to hear His love for me. He began to weave this immense love for me that I had never experienced before. I could hear his words in my head. Why would you let Satan twist three letters to make you feel so unworthy? I created you! I built you to be loud, and excitable. When you start to see who you truly are you will embrace your natural instincts because I put them there.
What have you been holding on to? What did your Mother, Father, Teacher, friend, or Pastor say that you immediately accepted as the truth and in turn labeled yourself? I believe that most people are their own worst critics. Why is it that we continually beat ourselves up?? Why is it so easy to accept the lies Satan throws at us and yet so hard to accept God’s truth. The further away you get from your creator the easier it is to believe everything else. Think about Atheists. They have gotten so far from God that the world’s logic sounds completely logical. Think about some of the cultists that you have seen. Do you remember the Heaven’s day cult?? The people who believed that alien’s were going to come down and save them from the rapture. Now you and I look at this from the outside and say “I can’t believe they would believe in that nonsense!” But we are not much different. Cause we believe the insane things we say about ourselves, right?? I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m an EGR, I’m too loud, I’m too quiet, I’m not worthy! All of these are lies!! You may be heavy but God wouldn’t say that to you. He would say why are you running to food instead of me?!! This is a hard one for me! Why would you say you are ugly? You are beautifully and wonderfully made.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
He made you and as the little saying goes “God doesn’t make junk!” Yeah that is easy to say! But how do we take it from a saying to the true way we feel. Well here is what I have been doing:
John 8:32 (New International Version)
32Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Lately, when I have been giving myself two hundred lashings I think I deserve, I have to stop my thoughts. Would God truly say that to me?? Is this bringing me closer to him or making me feel guilty, sad, anger, etc? I am not saying guilt, sadness, or anger are bad things but God uses these emotions to have you seek after him.
Are you seeking him?
Philippians 2:13 (New International Version)
13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
Remember that God created you for HIS GLORY but you have a specific purpose! You may not know what it is but if you continue to seek him he will reveal it to you. Albeit one step at a time!! And if you are like me that can be painful slow but I have learned the hard way that I would rather have it slow then all at once. Cause I know if I got it all at once I would run away screaming!!